A famous quote, “Love is in the air.” makes complete sense when you are in love with an ENFP and know what it feels like. ENFP offers you warmth and makes you feel alive. A relationship with a healthy ENFP feels amazing.
Long-term relationships with ENFP can be a roller coaster ride. Especially an ENFP and INTJ relationship. Having a long-term relationship with an ENFP can be a fulfilling experience and definitely worth all the effort. ENFP bring with them the much-needed hope, sunshine, and a breath of fresh air.
ENFP Cognitive Functions & Relationship Characteristics
- Ne- extroverted intuition – ENFP lead with possibilities. Extroverted Intuition Ne is their dominant function. They always have to do something new and exciting. A dose of adventure and a break in routine is essential. Stagnation is like kryptonite for ENFP. They would vanish and click the reset button with the speed of a Cheetah.
How does Ne work in an ENFP?
ENFP looks at the opportunity through Ne. They fall quickly in love with the idea of the person and their idea of love. Understanding the person takes time and effort. Due to a lack of Ti analysis (Ti- Internal Thinking is trickster function of ENFP), they fall in love head over heels, cross seven seas for love and later realize that the person is not what they idealized to be. Their partner needs to take time to get to know each other well, be genuine, and show their true selves from the get-go.
- Fi- Internal feelings – ENFPs inner value system that guides their feelings (Fi) is the ‘parent function’ for ENFP. They live for their Fi and make decisions based on how they feel. Their feelings are their compass for life. ENFP can appear to be very self-centered due to Fi because their feelings would always precede over the feeling of the other person or group harmony (Fe).
How does Fi work in an ENFP?
If you are in a relationship with ENFP, you must understand how Fi works. Through this Fi, they express empathy, show that they care about you, and provide affection. They relate to others’ feelings by showing feelings of their own. The values ENFP hold close to their heart are the red lines not to be violated. Once you violate their core values, the relationship with ENFP becomes unsustainable.
- Te- Extroverted Thinking – The child function of ENFP is Te, which makes them talk out loud and explain their rationale. Te helps ENFP organize their external environment. Due to Te being child function, ENFP cares a lot about what people think about them and their status in the group.
How does Te work in an ENFP?
In Relationships- You should never hurt their child function by any acts or words that jeopardize their status or make them look bad and feel stupid in front of others. They want to be seen and perceived as a good person of high value in front of others. Child Te is the reason ENFP simply CAN NOT handle CRITICISM because it hurts their child function and make them look bad in front of others (Te) and feel bad (Fi). Instead, they would want their partner to help them grow their status and increase their value in the eyes of others.
- Si- Introverted Sensing– Si is about past memories and comfort zone. Si is the inferior function of ENFP. For this reason, they are often forgetful and have difficulty taking care of their health and well-being.
How does Si work in an ENFP?
In Relationships- ENFP would love it if their partners could make their life comfortable by providing care and ensuring day-to-day chores that take a toll on ENFP are done on time.
Tips for Long-Term Relationship with ENFP to Keep the Spark Alive
For ENFP being in a relationship is a lifetime commitment. Certainly, with time, romance and the personal touch change. They become more personalized. But this personalization takes away the spontaneity (Ne) which was keeping the spark alive, like the way it used to be in the honeymoon phase.
Lucky you that you have lived that romance with ENFP and wants to keep it going. Take a closer look and see what you can do to bring the spark back with your ENFP.
Show Affection by Empathizing with ENFP
Do you think somehow, when you try to show affection, ENFP does not immediately reciprocate it in the way you expected? To solve this, do not just go ahead and shower more affection. Try to empathize with your ENFP. They must be under some sort of stress and feeling vulnerable. It could be work-related, finance, or any other reason. ENFPs are very good at hiding how they feel internally (Fi). You need to dig deep and ask them to open up. ENFP wish if others could help them open up, the way they open up others and make them feel comfortable.
ENFP craves someone who understands them. Fi wants people to understand them. Fe wants to understand people. Even on a busy schedule, make time for them and check on them to see how they are doing.
Surely, your ENFP partner can feel the affection you are showing but feels that it is probably not the right time to express it. ENFP need time to process their thoughts and feelings when going through a rough patch. Their own feeling (Fi) would take priority over how another person is feeling (Fe). Simply let them know that you are there for them. You might need to give ENFP a little time and space to calm down and reciprocate your affection.
Thoughtful Gestures and Surprises Wins ENFP Heart
Does your ENFP partner like surprises? Most ENFPs are big on wanting to get surprises. In a relationship with ENFP, getting and receiving surprises play a big part. It works up their Extroverted Intuition (Ne) and Extroverted Thinking (Te), making them jump up and down with joy.
Surprises also allow you to display your thoughtfulness which is a big deal in the ENFP world. So, you need to pay extra attention to details.
You can surprise your ENFP partner with an adventurous experience (Ne) or a wristwatch that you saw them looking at (Te) but couldn’t afford. To get the surprise right, closely observe the words and actions of ENFP.
Your partner may say that this wristwatch is amazing but maybe next time while giving a sad expression. You would know exactly what just happened. ENFP child function (Te) wanted something that would improve their external life and increase their status. It couldn’t have that. Parent Function (Fi) jumped in feeling bad with a sad expression on their face.
Now is your time to act on it and get them that watch secretly and surprise them later. ENFP child function (Te) would love you, making you golden for their parent function (Fi).
New Ideas and Excitement Keep the Relationship Alive
ENFP love the idea of dating. It feels exciting because everything is new, and there is a thrill to meet the person and learn about their life. There are so many possibilities and opportunities for what could be? (Ne).
To get the spark back with ENFP, you need to make them feel this excitement and give colors to their’ what could be’ imaginations. Say and do things that make their heart beat fast. Create new experiences.
ENFPs are very good at catching patterns; therefore, surprise dates work very well if you want to charm them. You can also surprise each other, let’s say, with a new look or with some new exciting conversation. Be open-minded to the quirks of ENFP.
Make ENFP feel the Freedom
ENFP starts to suffocate when they lose their freedom. No matter how much they love being in a relationship with you and enjoy your company. They need to have a life outside relationship and’ me’ time. Please give them the space and freedom to explore and have fun. ENFPs are loyal and stick to this personal value. But they don’t want to feel caged. Of course, your ENFP partner has chosen to be with you and is dedicated to you. Have faith in them. Hindering their Freedom will take them all away from you.
Hunaid Germanwala is an INTP Author and digital marketing specialist whose mind is always buzzing with creative ideas. Hunaid graduated with a Masters Degree from Ulm University in Germany and has been working as a digital marketing professional since 2014. His motto in life is “Better to Light the Candle than to Curse the Darkness.”