How to be Mysterious?
Being mysterious makes you attractive. People always want something that they can’t have. The mystery is intriguing. Being mysterious makes you interesting. A mysterious aura makes people want to come back to you and crave to get to know you better. They want to learn more about your life, personality, and what makes you tick.
The time someone spends thinking about you is directly proportional to how attractive they find you. Mystery can be an awesome tool in your arsenal to make you attractive. Being mysterious is effective only if you do it correctly.
So what makes someone mysterious?
People do several things, be it consciously or subconsciously, that make them mysterious. Most of the time, their mysteriousness is merely an illusion that dissipates quickly. As disappointing as it may sound, there is nothing so exciting behind their facade of mystery. On the other hand, the mystery is also a type of illusion that can be reproduced quite easily.
To master the art of mystery, it is important to understand that being mysterious is a lifestyle and not something you can artificially create from time to time. It has to come from within your personality at all times.
You might have seen super fun, outgoing mysterious guys and also crossed paths with introverted, more quiet, mysterious guys who use mystery to achieve great results. Being mysterious is about adopting specific personality traits rather than “trying to act” like a mysterious person because that always backfires.
How to Act Mysterious Yet Alluring?
Most men and women who go about trying to be mysterious get it completely wrong and fail miserably. Instead of appearing confident and awesome, they end up being creepy and try-hards who nobody likes.
Two guys claim to be mysterious. Let’s call the first guy John and the second one Bill.
John is the interesting one that people cannot figure out, while Bill is the one that people think is creepy.
What’s the difference between being mysterious and creepy?
The difference between being interestingly mysterious and creepy is straightforward. The answer lies in the fact that while Bill tries to hide all the information from people, John, on the other hand, hides only the explanation for the information.
Bill gives out the vibes that he’s purposely hiding something from people, which is not a good feeling. This is what makes him feel creepy. He is the kind of guy who doesn’t want to answer stuff and always tries to evade questions. He is not comfortable in his skin and somehow wants to get under your skin. That’s creepy. He has no goals of his own. Rather, he makes you their goal.
The mystery that Bill possesses doesn’t come from a place of strength or confidence but from trying too hard. He doesn’t want to answer or communicate like an adult. It makes him look like an anti-social weirdo who is very annoying to talk to because he won’t even answer the most simple questions—this trait repulse people.
The issue with trying hard to be mysterious by withholding information is that it looks and feels like you have an agenda. People can feel that there is a reason why you aren’t telling them anything. It makes people distrust you and your intentions.
The Secret to Be Mysterious and Attractive
Let’s look at what John does and why people see him differently than Bill. John is fun to talk to and will tell you basic information about him. You can ask John anything, and he will answer it wittily in some way.
You can feel the aura of confidence when he speaks. Though he answers your questions in monosyllables like yes or no, there is an omnipresent welcoming smile on his face. What John won’t do is explain why he does what he does, why he likes what he likes, why he feels what he feels, and so on. John never explains himself.
John will tell you that he doesn’t like the Titanic movie but won’t explain why. He doesn’t like it. John will tell you that he just returned from a trip to Bali but won’t explain why he went there. He went there because he can. John will tell you that he doesn’t have Facebook anymore but won’t tell you why. He doesn’t have it, so you better deal with it.
If John doesn’t have time for someone today, he would openly state that he can’t make it today because he’s playing video games. He doesn’t explain why or with whom or whatever. However, he is clear with his intentions and verbalizes them.
On the other hand, Bill would be too afraid to talk about video games (people-pleasing) and say that he cannot make it tonight, which makes him look like he’s hiding something (which he is). John, however, doesn’t care and 100% stands behind his actions. He doesn’t have to apologize or explain himself for his choices which makes him even more attractive!
The Number One Rule of being mysterious is to NEVER EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
While Bill is a closed book, John is an open book that keeps you engaged with mystery twists and suspense. You would want to continue reading the book, but it keeps getting out of your reach every time you read 2 pages. John is a literal human cliffhanger. His life to other people is a never-ending suspense movie.
The trick to the mystery is in the details, and it makes perfect sense once you realize it, but you still see tons and tons of men and women that are being Bill but want to be like John.
The mystery you project must never be based on some weird agenda but rather on your confidence. Be so confident that you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. When the mystery is combined with confidence and self-assurance, it drives people absolutely mad with interest and curiosity. They all know what you are about, what you do, and what you like, but no one knows why. No one knows the sweet details they all crave so much!
It is not just that being mysterious makes everyone crazy about you. It also makes your life easier and better. You can do whatever you want because you don’t have to care about what anybody thinks, and you don’t have to explain your motives, hobbies, interest, and personal choices to anyone. It helps you to become yourself.
Being Mysterious is not the same as being emotionally unavailable. You can care about people and tell them how much you appreciate and love them. You can show your gratitude with actions. On the other hand, being emotionally unavailable or giving silent treatment is a toxic trait and should not be confused with being mysterious.
7 Easy Ways to Become a Mysterious Person
Apart from being confident and self-assured, you can follow the below tips to incorporate the mysterious girl or mysterious guy persona in your lifestyle-
1. Embrace your Individuality
Instead of following the crowd, develop your hobby and interests. Have your own dressing style and embrace all your quirkiness. It proves that you know exactly who you are, which makes you exciting.
2. Maintain Good Posture
It is important to maintain a good and open posture. Give off a mysterious vibe with a welcoming smile. Keep your head held high with shoulders back and stomach in, to display a confident attitude.
3. Limit your Social Media Activities
When you feel really happy, excited, or sad about something in your daily life, think twice before posting your feelings all over social media. To be mysterious, it is crucial to limit how much you disclose about yourself on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. Like the pictures that you really find interesting. Like them and comment on them because you like them, not to please anyone else. Comment on a post only if you have something substantial to say. Keep emojis to a minimum.
4. Take a Genuine Interest In People
Take a sincere interest in people and try to connect with them on a deeper level. By understanding people and showing genuine concern for them, you will make yourself approachable and trustworthy. It is a prevalent mistake to think that being mysterious means you have to be rude and unapproachable. If you project a self-centered, arrogant, and egoistic attitude, people will only feel relieved when you are gone, and all your mysteriousness will go down the drain.
5. Develop Your Social Skills
Having the right social and communication skills adds to your mysterious appeal. Think before you speak. Say only those things that actually add value to the conversation. Being mysterious should not be confused with being anti-social. Even if you are an introvert and don’t want to socialize (INTP or INTJ), you must know the basic social rules and skills. Socialize because you enjoy it and want to meet people. Don’t do it to please others or to prove something. Being mysterious without having basic social intelligence always backfires. Be very clear with your intentions from the get go.
6. Learn to Say No
Suppose you don’t want to do something that you don’t like. Don’t do it. A people-pleasing attitude coupled with the fear of what people will think or say is the killer of your mysterious aura. Stand behind your personal life choices and decisions.
Never play the game of saying no purposely to show how busy you are or intentionally keep other people waiting for your response. Respond right away if it is urgent, or as soon as you get time. The silent treatments and other mind games are toxic and childish. Instead, do what you want to do and what you feel is right. Take control of your life and own it. Independence means the capability to choose, and it is another secret ingredient that makes you mysterious and attractive.
7. Have a Passion or Hobby
Be passionate about the things you love. Develop hobbies that you enjoy. Your dedication to the subject will be appreciated with curiosity. It would help you open up and meet like-minded people.
Your passion will make people wonder about the subjects of your passion. Don’t brag about your passions or talk about them constantly without listening to others. ‘Listen More and Talk Less’ is at the core of being mysterious. Mention your passions sometimes with interesting details or feats you recently achieved. To be mysterious, your life mustn’t revolve around one person or subject.
Hunaid Germanwala is a digital marketer and content creator at Health Products For You since 2014. He has an MS from Ulm University in Germany. His mind is always buzzing with creative ideas and is eager to explore new perspectives. His motto in life is “Better to Light the Candle than to Curse the Darkness.”